also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
