if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
