Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
