You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
