giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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