apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
