i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
