Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She's the barista slut.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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