Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
