Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
