The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
