that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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