her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
