it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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