i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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