my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
