I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
PANTIES FOUND
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