DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
