I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
