i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
