I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
do herpes really smell.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
