i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
