Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
