we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
