I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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