I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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