why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
