So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
