Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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