She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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