How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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