Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
