Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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