All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
