I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
