Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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