is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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