I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
