God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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