imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
