he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have aggressive nipples.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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