I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
