AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize