glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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