Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
