He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
