my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
