Your tits are I can't wait for
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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