sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
