where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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