my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
