I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
