Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
