She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
