i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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