i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
