just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
